Readers, it's been too long since our last booze shopping adventure over at everybody's favorite liquor store: Schreck's Kentucky Liquor Store Drive-In! This time around the stand out product was the Old New England Chocolate Egg Nog, a bargain(?) at $5.99. I have to say, it always impresses/surprises me how fast the turnaround is at Schreck's on these pre-mixed novelty type things--there's always something new to gawk at! Whoever does the ordering there seems to try to keep things fresh by continuously replacing stock with newer, weirder offerings touting what would rightfully be considered ill-advised ingredient match-ups--do you remember the Chocovine "wine" they were selling a few months back? Euw.
According to the label, Old New England Chocolate Egg Nog is "freshly made," which is a good start I guess. Interestingly, this product does not seem to warrant its own website, so any other claims from the manufacturer are not known at the moment. I am no fan of egg nog, and though I am quite a fan of chocolate I don't see how including it into the mix could do anything other than ruin otherwise perfectly fine chocolate. What really impresses me here is how ahead of the game they are at Schreck's--how heartening it is to be looking at holiday-oriented beverages already! I've been completely over our shitty summer o' hell for several months now and any reminder of impending winter (and winter-related imbibing) is a welcome sight for me. So, just strictly based on timing, meteorological conditions, and my own emotional state, Old New England scores a point with this shopper.
However, I am calling the manufacturer out for a big missed opportunity regarding the name: if you're going to try and go for that quaint, old timey feel, for gawd's sake add an "e" to the name! "Old" egg nog just sounds gross, but "olde" egg nog adds that extra little flourish of class, wouldn't you say? A rookie mistake like that steals any possible surface cred from that suggestive little sepia pastoral scene on the label, which is kind of a shame (they probably paid some poor art student 30 bucks for that painting).
The final verdict, based solely on these observations: this product reminds me a lot of Chocovine; I would venture to put them in the same category of chocolate-plus-spirits products. So it would not be too presumptuous to assume that they are direct competitors for whatever audience there is for cheap, chocolate-infused libations (probably the cheap, holiday party-going prankster set). Thus, I would have to say that, based on slicker marketing and a more handsome, European-ish label, Chocovine would likely snag most of the customers who are in the market for alcoholic Yoo-Hoo.
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