Falls City Beer: The Review

Well, readers--after learning about the return of the Falls City brand and that it was available on tap just two blocks away from my house, it really didn't make sense for me not to go give it a try right away. So there it is, in all its deep-amber glory. It's true that the color is much deeper than I remember--the lager that once was had a wispy, lemony color, while the new brew is indeed the darker hue of an American pale ale.

So...that, unfortunately, is where the comparisons end between the new FCB and APA. There is none of the hoppy goodness that one would associate with such a color, no deep complexity or pleasant yeasty nose...it was rather plain, actually. Don't get me wrong, it beats Budweiser or Miller Lite or whatever other major domestic you got, and it beats the hell out of Kentucky Ale. But honestly--I guess I was expecting more. All the talk about small breweries, reviving a local favorite and taking it back to its roots made me think there would be some sort of shazaam sort of moment. It's just OK. Kind of a metallic finish.

Oh, and the price? We paid $4 a pop for an average beer that should've been half that. Seriously? One of the big draws of the underdog beers is the bargain price--it's really not that fun to pay the same amount you would for a better beer but only get an unremarkable 2nd (3rd?) tier brew. I mean, we weren't at the ballpark or anything. I don't know--if I happen to see a six-pack at Schreck's for less than 6 bucks I'll definitely buy some to keep in the fridge, but otherwise I'll just stick with my usual.

The Return of Falls City

As any native Louisvillian knows, Falls City Beer--the watery, beer-like soda pop that the local skinny jeans-clad hipsters still pine over--has been a defunct brand for around ten years now. (What is really behind the hipster love of skunky off-brands, anyway? I love Pabst Blue Ribbon for historical reasons--it was first introduced at the 1892 Chicago Worlds Fair! But hipsters are stupid, they don't bother with anything older than The Smurfs, right? I guess I can understand the Budweiser backlash and the yearning for local weirdness when it comes to branding...but seriously: I saw PBR for sale at F-ing Whole Foods the other day! WTF?) Anyway, the Louisville-made regional favorite began production in 1905, surviving prohibition only to see the national takeover of the Big Beer Brand conglomeration. In 1978, after a pretty good run, the company dissolved it's board of directors and the brand changed hands, going to new owners outside Louisville (Indiana and later Pittsburgh, from what I've heard) who proceeded to cheapen the brand, making it into the loveable, bottom shelf horse-piss that most people remember today.

Hipster-fueled nostalgia, combined with a recent trend towards craft/micro brewing and a general popularity of "local things" (the word "sustainability" gets thrown around a lot these days...) seems to all have had a hand in the revival of FCB. David Easterling is the current owner of the brand, and for now it looks like he is going to be operating out of Cincinnati--but according to a recent LEO Weekly interview, he's keen to bring the operation back to Louisville.

But the really interesting part? According to the grapevine, the new recipe is nothing like the wimpy lager that filled the can in the 80's and 90's--Easterling says the new FC is closer to what it tasted like in the early days of the brand, which was an American Pale Ale(!) The original recipe is apparently lost, so the new beer may not be an exact copy, but even an approximate replica is nonetheless very exciting--Falls City Beer is sort of a legend in my family: my grandmother and her beer-swilling sisters were very fond of it, and now I get to taste what it was like. I'm pretty psyched to go find an area watering hole that has it on tap. I predict that local demand will pave the way for Falls City to make its glorious return onto the shelves of every store in the city--even the gawddamned Whole Foods.

Official Results...

It looks like I miscalculated that finishing time by just a couple of minutes, which bothers me not at all, readers--it still brings me in under my projected time of 2:15:00 by quite a bit.

And that official finish time? According to the timing chip embedded on my bib it was:

2:07:17!

Hurrah! Now for some sweet statistics:

* Out of the 15,000 people who registered to participate in both races (full & mini marathons), 10,738 finished the mini marathon
* Out of the 10,738 who finished, I came in 3,409th
* 4,655 men finished, 6,083 females finished
* Out of those 6,083 females, I came in 1,161th
* There were 1,073 females aged 30-34 who finished
* Out of those 1,073 I came in 236th

And there you have it! This wraps up our 2010 Ky Derby Festival Mini Marathon coverage, I hope you enjoyed it. & if you did, stay tuned: next year I'm considering the full marathon...26.2 miles!

The Results Are In...

Well, readers, all the angst and anticipation about the weather and whatnot was all for naught: what a fabulous morning for a long run! It sprinkled a bit, and then rained in earnest for the first 30 minutes or so, but then cleared right up. My unofficial time (I guess they'll send me my "official" time in the mail) for the mini marathon--13.1 miles--was 2 hours and 5 minutes...actually way better than my projected 2 hrs and 15 minutes. What can I say? I felt great and it all went off without so much as a side stitch or a blister--the remnants of my sinus infection didn't bother me and I was able to just get in "the zone" and enjoy myself. It was pretty fantastic running through Churchill Downs: they had some horses out doing exercises and the PA system was pumping out old turn-by-turn broadcasts of races. Can't wait to do it again!

And what sort of playlist got me through my two hours of racing excitement? Well, it's a pretty good one, so I should definitely list it, just for you, reader:

1. The Trio (main title from The Good, The Bad and the Ugly): Ennio Morricone
2. Down on the Street: The Stooges
3. Through the Fire: Larry Green
4. Danger Zone: Kenny Loggins
5. Cannonball: The Breeders
6. Rocky: United Artists Orchestra
7. Star Wars main theme: John Williams
8. The Imperial March: John Williams
9. Raiders of the Lost Ark main theme: John Williams
10. Carmina Burana: Atlanta Symphony Orchestra
11. Principles of Lust: Enigma
12. The Ecstasy of Gold: Ennio Morricone
13. Olympic Fanfare and Theme: John Williams
14. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom main theme: John Williams
15. Superman main theme: John Williams
16. Pee Wee's Big Adventure main theme: Danny Elfman
17. Batman main theme: Danny Elfman
18. Extreme Ways: Moby
19. What Is Love?: Haddaway
20. Enjoy the Silence: Depeche Mode
21. Lonely Highway: the Magnetic Fields
22. Learning to Fly: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
23. Runnin' Down a Dream: Tom Petty
24. I Won't Back Down: Tom Petty
25. Come as You Are: Nirvana
26. Welcome to the Jungle: Guns N' Roses
27. Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love: Van Halen
28. People of the Sun: Rage Against the Machine
29. Vietnow: Rage Against the Machine
30. Evil Operations Classified: The Casual Dots
31. G.F.S.: Slant 6
32. Dr. Seuss: Autoclave
33. Time Expired: Slant 6
34. Ace of Spades: Motorhead
35. (We are the) Road Crew: Motorhead
36. Cherub Rock: Smashing Pumpkins
37. Jane Says: Jane's Addiction
38. The Final Countdown: Europe

Oh boy: that's a lot of musical inspiration about taking things to the limit, trying real hard, time being an issue, adrenaline-laced stiff-lipped badass-ary and orchestral gravitas--perfect for all our distance running endeavors! And strangely enough, the transitions were smoother than you think. Hurrah for me!

KY Derby Festival Minimarathon Tomorrow

Yikes, readers: tomorrow's the big race! in just 16 hours I'll be lining up on 3rd street near Southside Drive in anticipation of my very first half marathon! Feeling some jitters, but having no doubts about being ready. The best thing about this being my first race is that there is no pressure to top myself: no matter what, tomorrow will be a personal best so I can pretty much just relax and enjoy it. I'm thinking about it in terms of just going out for a nice long run--with 14,999 other people(!)

The only thing I am worried about is the weather: 80% chance of thunderstorms! Like, with thunder and lightning. Huh. That really puts a damper on things. So I guess I'll have to put my iPod in a ziplock (running for 2+ hours with no music is NOT an option), and my visual situation looks grim as I can imagine my glasses fogging up and being useless, not to mention wet socks, giant puddles and being generally soaked through. This and I'm still not 100% over a sinus infection that was in full force last week...

But whatever, readers: I've been training for this thing for 8 months, so I'm game for some bad weather. And the fact that I'll be rained upon will simply up the badass factor and bragging rights I'll get, so I guess it will be fine.

And check out my outfit for the occasion:

* New-ish Mizuno Wave Rider running shoes (with neutral cushioning);
* my favorite cushy black socks;
* my crazy 3/4 length CW-X Stabylx running tights;
* plain old Target brand polyester/cotton blend shirt;
* Camelbak utility belt with water bottle holster (don't call it a fannypack!);
* 3 pouches of GU Chocolate Outrage energy gels;
* merino wool/acrylic blend arm warmers;
* eye glass keeper-on-ers;
* Brooks running cap;
* Mini Marathon number bib with microchip embedded to record time (I think it's like an RFID tag), #13547D

Stay tuned for more!

First Attended MLB Game of the Season, 4/22/2010

Cincinnati Reds v Los Angeles Dodgers

final score after 9 innings of play: Reds 8, Dodgers 5

hits: Reds 13, Dodgers 9

A very pleasant evening for attending a live baseball game. I actually think this is the first time I've seen the Reds win in the "new" ballpark (RIP Riverfront Stadium), so I'll admit I was totally shocked--I consider myself to be the Reds' unofficial bad luck charm (as if they needed any more negative mojo).

So do I, as a consummate Reds fan, have much optimism for the 2010 season? Well, no, reader, I do not--we Redlegs fans have become quite the cynical bunch, and it'll take a Johnny Bench-like streak of heroism from our boys to change our mindset that our team has become a rag-tag slush fund of 2nd and 3rd tier talent passed over by the Yankees, et al. A sad state of affairs, for sure--but there is a certain amount of pride taken in the fact that I haven't jumped ship for greener, more successful pastures. And gosh, if this season doesn't pan out (like so many others didn't), well--we'll always have 1976, baby.

EEEEUUUWWW...

Well, I knew it was happening, but it's distressing to see it all for sure, in black and white: the new college basketball arena set to open next season will be officially monikered KFC Yum! Center.

There's been endless droves of talk and nonsense about the big-ass basketball cathedral. Everyone already knew The Colonel had his greasy corpse-ified claw extended from beyond the grave, poised to take possession of the corporate naming rights to the monstrosity that was popularly (and imaginatively) called "The Downtown Arena." Weirdly, there was a rumor going around for the last couple of years that it was going to be called "The Bucket," which I guess is fun and appropriate: early artists' conceptions had the thing actually physically resembling a bucket of chicken(!) I was even kind of warming to that idea once I began imagining some outrageous Claes Oldenburg-designed showpiece on the riverfront, both magnificent and horrible in its overwrought corporate opulence--a cartoon made manifest that would dominate the city skyline like it has dominated the world's commercial fried chicken market. And they would play basketball inside.

Of course, my hometown lacks that kind of edgy vision (read: they know better than to piss off red necks who hate that sort of artsy bullshit). I was driving downtown for the first time in a while and was shocked to see how much they've built--and just how butt ugly the thing really is. And look at that picture: they're really going to put the logos of the Yum! axis of fast food evil ON THE FREAKING ROOF! So people in airplanes can see it! (Actually, one wonders why Yum! hasn't had this epiphany before, paying farmers in flyover country to grow their crops in the pattern of the Long John Silver's logo).

So there we have it: the name of the new boxy monstrosity now obstructing the waterfront will have an exclamation point in the middle of it's soulless, ungainly corporate-inspired name. I guess we should count ourselves lucky that the "Arena Authority Task Force" (or whatever that group of pompous local imagineers is calling themselves lately) limited themselves to whoring the naming rights out to just one conglomerate; I can imagine there being some crazy unwieldy compromise wherein the official name ends up being something like: Pepsi and Papa John's Presents The KFC Yum! Center at McDonaldland's Ameritrade PNC Bank Arena and Denny Crum Welcome Center.

Whatever--I'm still calling it "The Bucket."

Mini Marathon in 5 Days...!

Readers, it's the 5 day count down to the start of my very first half marathon event: the Kentucky Derby Mini Marathon!

It's kind of weird, if just for the fact that I really never participate in derby-related goings-on (well, besides the usual backyard BBQ and mint julep extravaganza--but that doesn't really count as "officially sanctioned derby events"...). The thing to remember about living in Louisville, Ky is that the derby is a city-wide excuse to start drinking at 11am (or earlier, in many cases...& we do mean "many cases"...har har), even the local schools let the kids out for a long weekend (my workplace will be closed, as will many many others). The actual race is really besides the point--although they do start running more stories about horses in the sports section around this time of year--people generally just want a reason to buy a funny hat and get shit-faced for a couple weeks (the festivities start with Thunder over L'Ville--which was yesterday--and culminate with the race on the first Saturday in May). And I guess I can't really argue with that.

Anyway--I started running again (after a, um, 13 year hiatus) this past September (did it have something to do with my 30th birthday, I wonder? hmmm...) and decided to run the race back in November. I've averaged 20 or so miles a week after finally getting back into shape, and I've done lots of long runs close to the 13.1 miles I'll have to cover this Saturday, so it should be no problem. I'm feelin' strong, readers! I even watched part of G.I. Jane on tv this afternoon (say what u want about Mrs. Kutcher, but those one-armed push ups were pretty badass). I've also read a lot of books and pestered a lot of other, more seasoned runners & I think I can pretty much do this thing...

But holee molee: the race sold out a few weeks ago, and that means I'll be running along with around 15,000 other people! That giant crush of humanity is going to be titanic! In fact, it's being touted as a record: the biggest single road race in Kentucky history (in past years they capped off registration at 12,000). Oh, boy! This will be a jittery week, for sure.

Former Tina Turner Impersonator for Mayor(!)

hoooooo boy, readers: I knew the Louisville mayoral race (which, 7 months away from election day, has already begun to heat up) was going to get interesting, but I had not dared to hope for this interesting, this early. Lest you think the title of this post is in jest, let me first assure you that, yes, indeed we do have a candidate seriously contending to be our city's next mayor who, in a past career, was a Tina Turner impersonator (although it is currently unknown if she held any formal accreditation). Connie Marshall, a currently unemployed western Louisville resident (although some sources refer to her as a "community activist"...) is running as a Democrat along with Tyler Allen, Greg Fischer, David Tandy, Shannon White, Burrel Farnsley and, of course, the reviled Jim King.

You may be wondering what else Ms. Marshall has to offer besides her accomplished (we assume) knowledge and mastery of Tina Turner mannerisms and performance. Well, according to a recent article in the Courier-Journal, she is also quite the prolifically litigious nut bag: she's sued the Louisville Gas & Electric Company, the U.S. attorney, the governor, the sheriff, the chief of police, various police officers, FBI agents, the U.S. Department of Justice and a few federal judges--19 law suits in all, along with a handful of suits in Jefferson District Court. Marshall acknowledges that this is kind of a lot: "I've sued the whole town, because the whole town is corrupt. If I'm leaving anybody out, I just haven't gotten to it yet." So, residents of Louisville who are not currently being sued by Connie Marshall, don't worry: it'll be your turn sooner or later--it's just that Connie has not yet been made aware of your vile corruption.

The suits claim harassment, intimidation, waste, fraud, racism, physical and mental assault, illegal incarceration and surveillance. But the coup de grace? Brace yourself: she says she is the victim of electromagnetic attacks from the government(!) They manifest themselves, she explains, through a "piercing and humming electronic sound that come into her home through telephones or other electronic devices." These attacks, she says, are apparently coming from satellites or drones that "often hover above her western Louisville home, causing her pain and sometimes paralyzing her for minutes." She claims that she is also being watched through her television: "You can tell when it's happening because the TV (screen) gets real bright." Apparently Marshall's platform for mayor will be based on wild-eyed anti-government conspiracy theory and, as Louisville's alt-weekly, LEO, remarked "other tinfoil-hat stuff." According to the C-J article: "...as mayor, she would help people who are suffering from similar attacks and anyone else who needs assistance from metro government." Yes, excuse me mayor: my neighbor's garbage cans are not in accordance with the city's ordinance...oh, and, uh, their dog has been illegally transmitting some disturbing messages to me through my toaster oven.

So, yeah--elect Crazy McGee for Louisville mayor and you can expect her to: a) wage war on the government (destroy it from within, I guess), b) say so many insane things on a daily basis that it'll make Jim Bunning seem mentally stable, and, probably: c) sue your ass. Realistically I know Connie doesn't stand a chance of getting her party's nomination (anybody else smell a future lawsuit?), but you know what? If she was smart enough to run as a Republican she could probably give em a run for their money by riding the wave of tea-baggin' anti-government angst. All she has to do is switch parties and start referring to her plight as the "elite big government socialist mind control agenda" and she's golden.

I swear, it always takes a sarcastic flowchart to calm me down. This weekend I've been getting a little seduced (all over again) over the newest iThing. But, seriously: can you blame me? They've finally managed to make a real working version of the Padd--that great Star Trek mainstay dating from the Next Generation, a ubiquitous Trek technology--and now I can go to a store and buy one! Of course, I can't get too carried away: if I had 500 bucks I shouldn't be spending it on some first gen device from Apple, the overly proprietary bully of the technology set.

But gosh--I've had it in my head ever since reading Marilyn Johnson's excellent This Book is Overdue! How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All that I need to be unchained from the desk, out in the stacks and in the streets doing my reference thing in a mobile capacity in order to be truly relevant. The chapter about the Minnesotan librarians (see page 105) who went into the streets to help direct protesters during the RNC in 2008, bringing their iPhones and ready reference binders to the people who needed information, was pretty inspiring. The idea of being a renegade librarian is pretty awesome--not waiting inside a building for someone to ask you a question, getting all proactive, embracing technology, networking/plotting with other subversive librarians...it's all very invigorating/intriguing.

Anyway, so how does all this relate to me salivating over an iPad? Well, you know--I could run around town with it, aggressively providing reference service to random strangers...how great would that be? On my days off I could be the Kamikaze Street Librarian; when we inevitably lose internet access at my branch I could totally save the day; I could roam the stacks and help patrons without having to run back to the computer at my desk to search our OPAC or WorldCat, search the internet for some fact or title, or whatever. Pretty exciting stuff, when you think about it (and I have been thinking about it a lot), but of course I would have to wait till later this month when Apple releases the 3G version. And shit, would I have to pay some crazy AT&T data plan bill every month on top of my usual cell phone charges? That would be pretty pricey. So, alas, for now I think I will be taking the advice of our snarky friends at BBSpot who created our helpful (and sobering) flowchart above. But just wait until the iPad gets a little competition and the price drops--the KSL (Kamikaze Street Librarian) will be realized, then no one will be safe from my maverick brand of street reference!