Showing posts with label Cincinnati Reds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cincinnati Reds. Show all posts

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Time To Choose Sides



Hey readers, did you hear? Spring training has officially started (actually, I'm a little late in reporting this, but whatever--you don't come here for breaking news. I hope.). In honor of this fact, I'm all about helping you non-baseball fans finally get into the game via picking a team to love/hate, already. Flowcharts are another one of my favorite things, so the above (click to enlarge) really hits the sweet spot: just answer a few simple questions in the above chart and you'll have the team that you'll be living and dying with this 2011 season.

(P.S. you probably know who I'll be rooting for this season--and all other seasons, by god--so I have to say I don't appreciate that Jumbo tron crack! But it makes me wonder: do most other parks make as strong a push with the electronic cheer-prompting, or is it just Cincy? Hmmm.)

(P.P.S. once you have your team figured out, head on over to Spring Training Online and find out which spring training league your guys are in: the Cactus League or the Grapefruit League? Any major trades that will effect the start of the season? Football's over & nobody cares about NBA: might as well start thinking about opening day!)

Monday, November 8, 2010

4192: Pete Rose Makes His Case (Again)


Wow, readers: as promised I viewed the new documentary 4192 yesterday. It details the career of one Peter Edward Rose, a guy I have had a hard time loving--but even a harder time hating. Pete doesn't make it easy to feel either way about him, at least for the die-hard Reds fans, and this doc (if anyone sees it) makes it even more difficult to keep the long-held keep-the-bum-out public opinion going.

Look, I know there's been a lot of Pete Rose publicity stunts aimed at reinstating him into the good graces of baseball in the last decade or so, and I know he's sounding more and more pathetic and desperate (and guilty) with each one. But here's the thing: the guy was f-ing amazing. He was the real deal, which, in this age of 'roided up super-villain-looking cheaters, seems more rare, more genuine and a breath of fresh air. Pete was (and still is, by the looks of him in the film) a total troll: not by any means tall or muscled or agile or graceful--not an athlete at all, by most definitions. The fact that he was able to succeed like he did was no accident, stroke of luck or by-product of dirty-dealings: it was sheer grit, heart and H-U-S-T-L-E. That little troll was scrappy, he could hit from either side of the plate and would play any position he was asked to play with no complaints. Would any of that fly today with our current crowd of jacked-up prima donnas? I doubt Jeter would be so accommodating.

The film just lays it all out there for you: the numbers have always spoken very loudly about his (mind-boggling) accomplishments, but there were also some of the most accomplished and respected faces in baseball extolling Pete's virtues. Marty Brenneman, Mike Schmidt, and (Mercy Missile favorite) Tony Perez: all saying what a stand-up guy and astounding player Pete is/was. I dare you: go see this film, listen to the adorable Tony Perez talk about his BFF and try and tell me you still think Pete should be barred from Cooperstown. If you can do this than you have a heart of cold hard steel.

*Please note* I would be remiss if I did not warn you: about halfway in Pete does a cringe-worthy reenactment of that awful Aqua Velva commercial. Ye be warned!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sparky Anderson, 1934-2010


A few days ago I learned about the death of Sparky Anderson--the beloved manager of the Cincinnati Reds during the empire years of the Big Red Machine (1970-76). Sparky was a guy who spent 40 years in baseball: entering the minors in 1953 and managing his last game with the Tigers in 1995.

I already knew the highlights of his career (the back-to-back World Series titles in '75 & '76), and I even knew the fun, fallen-out-of-common-knowledge puzzlers (like, that Sparky's nickname as manager was "Captain Hook." Only in baseball does a guy already known as "Sparky" get a nickname). What I didn't really know was anything about his career before becoming a manager, when he was just George Lee Anderson: minor league talent. It's kind of tragic, really--like that part in Field of Dreams when Burt Lancaster is telling Kevin Costner about his one half of an inning that he got to play right field in the majors, essentially an uneventful failure, but that it was okay because then he got to go be a doctor (*sob!*).

Check out his stats and tell me that's not sad: he was never a great batter, but he was consistently in the mid .200's, which isn't bad. He worked his way up the minor league pecking order pretty quickly, too, starting out in the California League, then on to single, double, and finally triple A ball, progressing one league up each year. So obviously someone thought Mr. Anderson was alright, at least good enough for a promotion each year. It's when we get to 1959 that we run into Moonlight Graham territory:

April 10th, 1959 George Anderson reported up to Philadelphia as second baseman; on September 27th, 1959 he played in his final major league game ever. We don't get much of a narrative in these stats-obsessed kinds of sources, but it's fun to try and eke out a story: he ended up with a kind-of disappointing-but-by-no-means-terrible-for-a-rookie .218 batting average, so we can assume the major league pitching had him a little rattled. He committed 12 errors, but he got to play in 152 games that season, so it looks like he was the second baseman in Philly that year (no riding the pine in '59 for this one). But then they sent him back down to AAA, where he finished out his playing career with the Toronto Maple Leafs (no, not a hockey team) in 1963. It's strange: you've got to think that plenty of other notable baseball players started out with stats at (or below) those of Sparky's, but maybe they got second chances for some reason or another and the good Captain didn't.

But then, of course, Sparky broke into managing and that's how he ultimately got to Cooperstown. Can't say it's a bad ending (we just won't think too much about those years in Detroit).

In memory of Captain Hook I'm making a trip out to my local cinema today for an afternoon matinee: 4192, which will undoubtedly feature amazing footage of Sparky's glory years.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ouch


Wow, that was heart-rending. The Phillies' Roy "Doc" Halladay (yeah, yeah, awesome name, I know) threw only the second post-season perfect game in baseball history last night--he's the first to do it in the National League--the Yankee's Don Larsen is the other guy, way back in 1965. Okay, yeah, great--but ouch, did it have to be against my Reds? In the very first game of the series? Pretty darn deflating, you guys.

If you need me today I'll be at my local candle merchant, stocking up on extra voodoo for the JB shrine...

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Mercy Missiles Baseball Time Travel Adventure: 1990



Readers, can you stand anymore Cincinnati Reds fanfare today? I hope so, because that video up there is especially glorious, perfect for inclusion in our day-long post-division-clinching celebration here at HQ. A highlight extravaganza from the last World Series appearance by our favorite team, and boy what a lineup they had: the awesome Eric Davis, Barry Larkin (at the beginning of his long career with the Reds), Rob "Wild Thing" Dibble, and the amazing sport-goggle enthusiast Chris Sabo! Also: watch for appearances by controversial team owner Marge Schott and MM favorite Tony Perez.

Reds Win The NLC!


HURRAH!

The Reds won the Central Division last night in dramatic fashion, beating the Astros 3-2 on a bottom-of-the-ninth solo homerun by Jay Bruce! 15 years, readers: it has been 15 years since we've made it to the post-season--9 years since we've even had a winning season...gosh, & I forgot how awesome it feels! The baseball gods are smiling down benevolently on the Queen City of the West today.

And hey: Louisvillians had a thrill when Aroldis Chapman--the Cuban pitching phenom who spent most of his summer freaking out Louisville Bats crowds with his 100+ mph fastballs (& 97 mph change-ups!)--was called in to close the 9th inning. Wow, we were not disappointed: he struck out the first two batters and got the third to ground out. 3-up-3-down for the new guy; I just hope the Reds' front office has sense enough to keep him around for a good long while.

And how great is Dusty Baker?? He is now in some rare company: just the 9th manager in all of baseball history to lead three different teams to the post-season (Giants 97-00, Cubs 03 & Reds 10), a HOF manager for sure (not sure about you, but I sure don't miss Jack McKeon--the Marlins can keep that one. He's poised to take advantage of Florida's thriving retirement community and myriad early bird buffet specials). Let's all be glad the Cubs didn't know what to do with Dusty--he seems like a good fit in Cincy.

The post-season starts next week. Go Reds!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Baseball


Readers, the Reds have one game to go to clinch the National League's Central Division title! They play the Astros tonight, and hopefully we'll be celebrating at the feet of the Johnny Bench shrine. Go reds!

Tonight is also an exciting night for baseball for another reason: PBS is airing the first part of Ken Burns' Baseball: The Tenth Inning (starts at 8pm!). The doc will focus on the 90's & 00's, so get ready to hear about the player strike and steroids--it was a depressing & scandalous two decades. Anyway, that's the nerdy little documentary elf there in the photo (I didn't know you could still buy denim shirts...)

By the way: did I ever tell you about the time I came thisclose to meeting Ken Burns? It was back in June at the big annual librarian conference in D.C. He was set to be meeting and greeting at the Baker & Taylor booth, and as I was walking over to say "hi" (or something...I'm not so good with celebrities) I noticed that another booth a few aisles over had a copy of his Civil War book. I thought it would make a better impression (i.e. lessen the odds of me doing/saying something awkward) if I had one of his books in hand for him to sign, so I made a detour to get it. Well, the lady at the booth was reluctant to sell it to me, so I had to guilt-trip her a little, giving her my breathless "butIgottahaveitsoIcanmeetKenBurnsandI'minabighurry,lady!!" explanation before she agreed to take my 5 bucks. Sheesh.

By the time I speed walked back to Baker & Taylor, he had disappeared (45 minutes before he was supposed to)! I got an apologetic shrug from the two B&T office drones manning the booth: "Uh, sorry--Mr. Burns is very busy, so, uh, he had to leave early. But maybe you can catch him--he just left right before you walked up..." They pointed vaguely. I considered that scenario for a minute: spotting Ken Burns from across the enormous, jam-packed showroom floor of the Washington National Convention Center, I could sprint the 200 yard distance towards where he is getting on the escalator to the equally-enormous lobby, dodging fragile Nancy Pearl wannabes, shoving tattooed teen lit enthusiasts and vaulting bookbag-laden oldsters on Rascals. I would catch up to him, maybe yelling out over the din of the crowd, and then demand that he sign the book (which isn't even one I have actually read).

I decided against it. (Moral of the story: if you are about to meet a celebrity just square your shoulders, feign normalcy and say something about admiring their work. It probably helps if you pretend to be about 60% as excited to meet them as you really are).

Anyway: it's a great night for baseball, so go get some, Americans!

Thursday, September 23, 2010


Hey, Cincinnati fans: as of today the magic number for the Reds to clinch the NL central division is now down to 3! That means any combination of 3 losses by the Cardinals or wins for the Reds will cause something to happen that hasn't happened since 1995: the Reds will win something! They'll be in the playoffs, readers: the post-season!

As you can see, this calls for a candles-and-incense vigil to be held at the official Johnny Bench shrine here at MM HQ--the first time in 15 years that such ceremony has denoted legitimate hope (rather than fragrant, effigial denial). We'll keep the candles burning 24-hours-a-day this weekend, while the Reds are in San Diego, hopefully clinching the division title!

Go Reds!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Pete Rose: Can He Get Any Scum-Baggier?


This story about the corked Pete Rose bats has broken recently, and I just don't know what to think about this guy anymore. Sheesh, I totally believed Pete for all those years he denied having gambled on baseball while he was managing the Reds. I loved him for his hustle (certainly not for his looks); he was scrappy, he was entertaining, and he was a colorful part of one of the best baseball teams of all times, so I always thought he deserved the benefit of the doubt and a place in the Hall of Fame.

Then he comes out and admits the whole gambling thing in a crummy, gossip-mongering tell-all book (guess he needed some cash). I was pretty much over him after that, but then the steroid scandal happened and I began to reconsider: yes, gambling on your team is scummy, for sure, but it's not nearly as bad as doping yourself into a Jolly Green Giant physique (Hello, Roid-ger Clements, Sammy Sosa, Mark Macguire, et al). And besides, I rationalized, he never did anything but try like hell to win, so it's not like he was betting against his own team and then taking a dive.

But now this. Jeeze, Peter, just when I was coming back around, too. Keep the bum out, I say. Just another reason to love Johnny Bench even more, I guess.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Reds' Second Stringer Makes Bold Facial Statement


Readers, I've been almost afraid to talk about my beloved Cincinnati Reds this season for fear that my blatant attention will cause them to start sucking again (i.e. return to the Cincy status quo). That always seems to be the case, anyway: as soon as I allow myself to become emotionally invested in a sports team (which hardly ever happens, by the way) they reward me by promptly going south, breaking my heart via devastating and/or embarrassing failure/loss/stupidity. So I'll admit to indulging in a little magical thinking--insofar as it pertains to negative karma--it just comes with the territory when you are brought up a certain way (read: Catholic).

So anyway, That fellow there is just another reason to be excited about our boys from the "Queen City of the West" this year: check out the 'stache on Corky Miller! We Louisvillians are used to seeing old Porky there intermittently as the catcher for the Reds' AAA farm team (the Louisville Bats) whenever he's hitting especially bad (like right now). So he may be a shitty sub-.300 hitter, but he's got a major league-worthy mustache, and for that we salute you, Corky!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Reds Mark 75th Anniversary of the First MLB Night Game


Readers, we're nearly 2 months into baseball season here at MM, and that means one thing: the Cincinnati Reds are back on our radar screen for another season of heartbreaking defeat (but what's that you say? The Reds have been in first place recently? And they haven't been in first place this deep into the season since 2006? True, but the cynical Reds fan that I am--read: lover of perennial losers held hostage by declining ticket sales and bad front-office decision making--will not allow me to enjoy it, knowing that crushing defeat lies in wait for that moment when I decide to emotionally invest myself).

Anyway: Cincinnati's Crosley Field made history back on May 24th, 1935 when it was host to the first ever baseball game played at night, at which the Reds beat the Phillies 2-1.

I was really disappointed that I couldn't make it up to Cincy to see the game last night: in honor of the anniversary, the powers-that-be 86ed the obnoxious, hiccuping drone of the Mega-tron (and the accompanying hip-hop styling of whatever crappy song each player wants played as he's walking up to bat) and instead opted to play organ music(!) ORGAN MUSIC! They apparently still have one stashed away somewhere at the ballpark (or at least a keyboard that has a calliope setting on it). That alone would've been worth the hour and 20 minute drive.

According to an article on MLB.com describing last night's festivities: "during the seventh inning stretch, a sparkling 'C' was illuminated on the right-field porch as part of a ceremony to commemorate the moment when President Franklin D. Roosevelt pushed a button at the White House to activate the lights at Crosley Field."

Wow! FDR! This was back when baseball was such a big deal in America that the President wanted to get involved! Go Reds!

Friday, April 23, 2010

First Attended MLB Game of the Season, 4/22/2010


Cincinnati Reds v Los Angeles Dodgers

final score after 9 innings of play: Reds 8, Dodgers 5

hits: Reds 13, Dodgers 9

A very pleasant evening for attending a live baseball game. I actually think this is the first time I've seen the Reds win in the "new" ballpark (RIP Riverfront Stadium), so I'll admit I was totally shocked--I consider myself to be the Reds' unofficial bad luck charm (as if they needed any more negative mojo).

So do I, as a consummate Reds fan, have much optimism for the 2010 season? Well, no, reader, I do not--we Redlegs fans have become quite the cynical bunch, and it'll take a Johnny Bench-like streak of heroism from our boys to change our mindset that our team has become a rag-tag slush fund of 2nd and 3rd tier talent passed over by the Yankees, et al. A sad state of affairs, for sure--but there is a certain amount of pride taken in the fact that I haven't jumped ship for greener, more successful pastures. And gosh, if this season doesn't pan out (like so many others didn't), well--we'll always have 1976, baby.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Cincinnati's Sports Teams: One of Them is Good This Year!


(Hint: it's not the Reds.)

Well, readers, after another disappointing season of Reds baseball, we here at MM are licking our wounds after watching the reviled Yankees win yet another series by doing two things:

  1. watching our treasured VHS copy of highlights from the 1976 world series in which the Reds hand New York a resounding defeat in an embarrassing 4 game series sweep (narrated by Joe Garagiola!) over and over
  2. turning to a different sport altogether in order to get that "my team is a winner" type of feeling: NFL football, and the Cincinnati Bengals! Hey, they're actually pretty good this year!

I should explain that I've always felt it imperative to root for teams geographically. That is, you should be regionally compelled to be a fan of whomever is closest to your hometown. Otherwise you tend to look like a fair weather schmuck (I'm looking at you, native Louisvillians walking around town in Red Sox jerseys and Green Bay cheesehats! Shameful!). In a country with a dizzying array of choice, I think it is sometimes refreshing to have to play a hand that fate has dealt you--I think that in the case of being a sports fan, that should be one of those non-choices. When I get fed up with watching them flounder yet again, I say to myself in a Darth Vader baritone: "You must support the Reds...it is your DESSS-TINYYY!"

I can remember growing up and driving to Cincy for Reds games and wondering who that dumb-ass in the Kansas City hat sitting in the next aisle thought he was; I'd think to myself "the Royals aren't even in the National League, moron!" And we all know that some teams more than others tend to attract these types. I generally divide them into two categories: the annoying egotists who love only winners, and the dopey masochists who only support (sometimes ironically) the hapless losers. There are many reasons for falling into either category, but I think it's shameful and more than a little disingenuous no matter what your excuse. For instance: I don't care if your daughter moved to Denver, or if your son is going to law school in Chicago: these things should not effect your sports allegiances! Steroids alone are not destroying professional sports, the loyal ambiguity of the hometown base is muddying the waters as well.

Anyway, so I was reading about the Bengals' most recent win against last year's Super Bowl winners, the Steelers, in the paper this morning, and Pittsburgh safety Ryan Clark was quoted saying that Cincy is "clearly the best team in the division." (!) After a disappointing baseball season, that is a pretty exciting thing to hear for me. And don't forget that the Bengal's have a player that legally changed his name to reflect (I assume) his love for his own jersey number--that's pretty fun! I'll always be a baseball fan first, but branching out a bit looks like it may help my sports-related inferiority complex--this year, at least.

(Go Ochocinco!)

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Baseball Armageddon

Readers, you may have noticed that there has been a marked drop-off in the number of baseball related posts here at MM (like, from several a week to...uh, zero). That may or may not be directly proportional to the suckiness rate of my beloved Cincinnati Reds this season. Well, I'm no sore loser or anything: you have to remember how long its been since the Reds were anything but a second-rate embarrassment--in fact, you'd have to go way back to 1995, when the Reds won the Central Division pennant (I was there, by the way, readers), and it was five years before that in 1990 the last time the Reds won the World Series, and way back in 1975 when the above picture was taken of the last Cincinnati club worthy of a nickname: The Big Red Machine. So you could say I'm used to Loser-ville by now.

I mention this because the other day I read a particularly whiny article in the New York Times by A. G. Sulzberger entitled Met's Fans Have Choice of Two Evils in World Series. Its all about how hard it is this year to be a Mets fan; how to choose the team to root for when you actively hate both, which team to hate less, how long its been since you got to celebrate a pennant win, blah blah blah boo-hoo-hoo. So the Mets haven't been any good for a few seasons, and it's been since 1986 since they won the Series--so what? The Reds haven't been good since that year in 1995...like at all. At least Mets fans had hope recently, like when in 2006 they came thisclose to winning their division--the Reds usually keep a close eye on third place until around the All Star break, then it's head first into the crapper for the rest of the season. And what about Pittsburgh fans? The Pirates are usually solid cellar dwellers by the 3rd week of the season--they haven't won a World Series since 1979. Washington D.C. just got their team a few seasons ago and it's been nothing but a shameful bloodbath for the Nationals thus far. The Royals, the Padres, the Mariners, the Orioles--all bottom-feeding fodder for teams like the Yankees, the Red Sox and the Dodgers to humiliate with their top-dollar talent season after season.

Popular Mets blogger John Coppinger (Musings and Prophecies of Metstradamus) is calling for Mets fans to boycott this year's Series, calling it, dramatically, "baseball Armageddon." Sheesh, simmer down, crybaby--the rest of us middle American die-hards have been dealing with our own squads of AAA losers for decades, so join the club. But of course it's not just Mets fans who get a bruised ego and have self-righteous hissy fits after a disappointing season--Cubs fans are downright scary when the subject of entitlement comes up, and don't they still burn Kenesaw Mountain Landis effigies on Chicago's Southside every October? Nobody holds a grudge like a real baseball fan.

So, not to sound bitter or anything, but I really can't spare the pity for the fella from Queens who ends Sulzberger's article by emoting: "I'm having a real tough time right now. They tell me the longer I wait, the sweeter it's going to be. But I was 3 years old in 1986, so I don't really remember. I want to know what it feels like to win." Well, I'm sure there are thousands of other fans of other teams who feel the same way every year the Yankees' newest permutation of ever-larger-muscled baseball millionaires buy their way to the top. There's a lot of disenfranchised fans out there who want to know what it feels like, just once, to be able to look down their noses at them and say "better luck next year, ya bums!" In fact, that popular sentiment demonstrates a real need that isn't currently being met in the consumer market that tends towards the ESPN demographic: sports therapy. Maybe I'll open my couch for business...

(Go Phillies!)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Breaking the Wrong Kind of Record...

On Monday my beloved Cincinnati Reds experienced an historic occassion, but not in a good way. For those of you who don't keep up with the box scores, The Reds were handed their worst defeat in franchise history--and that goes all the way back to 1869, readers. Needless to say things have been a bit on the soberly despondent side over here at the MM.

Sadly, with the advent of free agency and the best players going to the richest franchises, it no longer seems possible for a team to keep the same great players year after year. Of course, the exception to that rule this year seems to be the Philadelphia Phillies, the same team that won last year's Series, and the very team that handed my Reds their epic loss Monday night (22-1, a score you never expect to see outside the confines of a little league). The Phillies will likely make a good run at another World Series this year, but I doubt their lineup will stay intact after that--modern baseball, for better or worse, just doesn't work that way anymore.

Anyway, chin up, sports fans: the season is only half over and the reds only trail their division by 4 games--still time to try for that other love-it-or-hate-it modern baseball invention, the wild card! Sing along with the official Cincinnati Reds Fight Song (you know all the words to that one, don't you?): "We did it before, we'll do it again! We'll give 'em a chance, we'll fight to the end! we are the Cin-ci-nna-ti Reeeeeds! HEY!"

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Marge Schott


Marge Schott is a special case in my rogues gallery of eccentric millionaire baseball team owners. Her tenure as the majority owner of the Cincinnati Reds was concurrent with my formative years as a young Redlegs booster--the last time the Reds won the world series (1990) was during her reign--and so it may then be understandable that I am partial to her. Not that Schott is an easy person to like--in fact, it's probably not socailly acceptable for anyone to like her considering the plethora of inflammatory, derogatory, and downrigt Nixonian statements she made during her public lifetime about various minority groups (or, um, pretty much ALL minority groups). Affection for Marge Schott in reality was probably a little like trying to cuddle a cactus, but the lady had gumption--any woman trying to hold a position of power in a traditionally male dominated arena has to be spunky, and at least twice as much of an asshole as the biggest asshole man in the same field. And so, I give you: Marge Schott.

A Cincinnati native born August 28, 1928, Margaret Unnewehr was one of five daughters born to a strict Catholic father whose desire for a son was perpetually disappointed. Edward Unnewehr raised Marge to be tough and paranoid, to not show weakness, and to eventually take over the family business (a hardwood and veneer manufacturing company which ensured that the family was fairly well-off). Ed nicknamed Marge "Butch," and she played the part of surrogate son pretty well, cracking wise and smoking cigars at slumber parties. It was a disappointment for Ed when, in 1952, Marge married Charles Schott, the son of a wealthy Cincinnati society family, and left the business to (attempt) to be a good Catholic housewife.

It turned out that Marge learned more about business after getting married and hanging around her father-in-law--a man who at one point in his career was the largest automobile dealer in Ohio--than she did about being a homemaker. This education was most likely the best part of her marriage; the couple were unable to have the children Marge so desperately wanted, and Charlie was a notorious alcoholic, gambler and womanizer. Her new husband left her alone in their hotel room on their wedding night to go to a card game, not exactly a good sign of times to come. He died of a heart attack in 1968, found in his mistress' bath tub. This infidelity may be what later triggered Marge to wage a full-scale Big Brother-esque surveillance war on her unfortanate players: opening their mail, video taping their movements in and out of hotels and buses, and even keeping detailed phone logs of every call in and out of the clubhouse. She was always worried about the groupies professional sports attracted, and made it her personal business to keep them away from her players (married or not).

It was in December of 1984 that she purchased a controlling interest in the team for a reported $11 million. The next year she was named President and CEO, and thus began her career as one of the most notorious, infamous and outspoken owners in baseball.

Marge was never strapped for cash, but her personal experience running and helping to run the family businesses made her a notorious cheapskate. She never bought clothes for herself, she kept the heat in her businesses turned down to 55, and any expense over $50 was to be approved by her personally. She would only agree to an expense (say, an order of paperclips for the front office) after getting at least 3 bids from 3 different suppliers.

According to Marge: "You're spending millions and millions out on the field for these players, honey, and you find yourself arguing about envelopes and paperclips in the office. You try to cut on the silly stuff. It's like Disneyland on the field and the real world in here." To which one employee reportedly said: "No, it's like Disneyland on the field and Bosnia in here." Harsh!

But players often felt the pinch too: broken bats were sent to a downtown Cincy hotel, which sold them as souveniers. Extra bats were not bought for players, so they would have to pay for their own replacements. No extras as far as clothing goes either: hats, sweatshirts and jackets were all bought on the players' dime.

At least some of the players took these things in stride. Barry Larkin, the 1995 National League MVP, didn't complain much: "The only thing I don't like is when the dog [Schottzie] takes a crap at shortstop, because I might have to dive into that shit." Indeed. Schottzie, Marge's massive Saint Bernard, would trot out onto the field before each game to much fanfare--especially when she had some "business" to take care of.

And then there's the case of her MANY publicly documented racial slurs. There can be no excuse for those, exept maybe that she was from a conservative and notoriously racially segregated city, grew up in a time and family where bigotry was just an accepted fact of life, and was widowed and leading a very isolated life at only 39 years old. Reading interviews with her today suggest that she was probably like your typical, oldschool white grandma after one too many, which is fine, except that this old lady had reporters and cameras recording what she said about Jews, black people, Hitler, Asian-Americans, etc. etc. etc.

In the end, Marge got herself forced out of baseball in 1999 when she agreed to sell her majority share rather than be ousted by her partners, but every reporter in the area was eagerly holding the microphone and giving her every opportunity to dig her hole deeper and deeper. I won't say baseball was better off with Marge Schott than without, but I do miss the fact that the most expensive ticket at Riverfront stadium during Marge's tenure was $11.50, by far the lowest in the sport at the time (contrast that with $300 today). I miss her ban on players wearing jewellry and ugly goatees and grandstanding like clowns. I also miss the fact that baseball once had a woman, however derided and disliked and prickly, in a position of power and influence. And yeah, I also miss Schottzie.

Source: Reilly, Rick. "Heaven Help Marge Schott" Sports Illustrated 84 No. 20 (May 20, 1996)