One thing I love about the internet is that I can start out doing legitimate research and end up sliding down a slippery slope of nonsense and time-sucking distraction. I'm sure you know what I mean. So it goes: last night I started out researching something perfectly legit and where did I end up? Websites that offer collections of Bob Ross quotes, of course.
For those of you unfamiliar with defunct public television shows from the 80's and 90's, Bob Ross was a soft-spoken hippie dippie type who hosted a half hour program on PBS called The Joy of Painting. Wherein he would softly coo about happy trees and mountains and birds--whatever he was using to populate his cheesy landscapes (which he would churn out, incredibly, in a half an hour)--while spontaneously offering quasi-new age (sometimes quasi-political) non sequiturs. As a former employee of an art supply store I reflexively cringe when I hear his name, as he is the demigod of aspiring retiree/housewife "artists" and anger management yogis everywhere, and was the object of much scorn and irony among my bitter, underemployed post-art school compatriots.
Anyway: I have to say, reading his little Wikipedia bio did give me a small feeling of regret about my past attitude towards the guy--seems like he was, in his own way, striking a blow against The Man (that stuff about the military really sheds light on some of his comments...). I'll post some of my favorite BR quotes here for your enjoyment:
* "And that makes it look like birch trees, isn’t that sneaky? Heh. Ha. It’s gorgeous."
* "Gotta give him a friend. Like I always say ‘everyone needs a friend’."
* "Any way you want it to be, that’s just right."
* "As my son Steve says, just ’smoosh’ it in there. It’s not a real word, but people seem to know what it means."
* "Maybe in our world there lives a happy little tree over there."
* "Oooh, if you have never been to Alaska, go there while it is still wild. My favorite uncle asked me if I wanted to go there, Uncle Sam. He said if you don’t go, you’re going to jail. That is how Uncle Sam asks you."
* "Talk to the tree, make friends with it."
* "I taught my son to paint mountains like these, and guess what? Now he paints the best damn mountains in the industry."
* "The only thing worse than yellow snow is green snow."
* "There’s nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend."
* "If you did this with yellow, and you went over it with blue, you would end up with a .. with a translucent… green. And it’s gorgeous. It is GORGEOUS."
* "We want happy paintings. Happy paintings. If you want sad things, watch the news."
* "Trees cover up a multitude of sins."
* "We’re gonna make some big decisions in our little world."
* "That’s a crooked tree. We’ll send him to Washington."
* "You can do anything you want to do. This is your world."
* "I can’t go over 30 minutes, because we have a mean ol’ director with no sense of humor."
Heh heh--oh, Bob!
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