The Return of Falls City

As any native Louisvillian knows, Falls City Beer--the watery, beer-like soda pop that the local skinny jeans-clad hipsters still pine over--has been a defunct brand for around ten years now. (What is really behind the hipster love of skunky off-brands, anyway? I love Pabst Blue Ribbon for historical reasons--it was first introduced at the 1892 Chicago Worlds Fair! But hipsters are stupid, they don't bother with anything older than The Smurfs, right? I guess I can understand the Budweiser backlash and the yearning for local weirdness when it comes to branding...but seriously: I saw PBR for sale at F-ing Whole Foods the other day! WTF?) Anyway, the Louisville-made regional favorite began production in 1905, surviving prohibition only to see the national takeover of the Big Beer Brand conglomeration. In 1978, after a pretty good run, the company dissolved it's board of directors and the brand changed hands, going to new owners outside Louisville (Indiana and later Pittsburgh, from what I've heard) who proceeded to cheapen the brand, making it into the loveable, bottom shelf horse-piss that most people remember today.

Hipster-fueled nostalgia, combined with a recent trend towards craft/micro brewing and a general popularity of "local things" (the word "sustainability" gets thrown around a lot these days...) seems to all have had a hand in the revival of FCB. David Easterling is the current owner of the brand, and for now it looks like he is going to be operating out of Cincinnati--but according to a recent LEO Weekly interview, he's keen to bring the operation back to Louisville.

But the really interesting part? According to the grapevine, the new recipe is nothing like the wimpy lager that filled the can in the 80's and 90's--Easterling says the new FC is closer to what it tasted like in the early days of the brand, which was an American Pale Ale(!) The original recipe is apparently lost, so the new beer may not be an exact copy, but even an approximate replica is nonetheless very exciting--Falls City Beer is sort of a legend in my family: my grandmother and her beer-swilling sisters were very fond of it, and now I get to taste what it was like. I'm pretty psyched to go find an area watering hole that has it on tap. I predict that local demand will pave the way for Falls City to make its glorious return onto the shelves of every store in the city--even the gawddamned Whole Foods.

Official Results...

It looks like I miscalculated that finishing time by just a couple of minutes, which bothers me not at all, readers--it still brings me in under my projected time of 2:15:00 by quite a bit.

And that official finish time? According to the timing chip embedded on my bib it was:

2:07:17!

Hurrah! Now for some sweet statistics:

* Out of the 15,000 people who registered to participate in both races (full & mini marathons), 10,738 finished the mini marathon
* Out of the 10,738 who finished, I came in 3,409th
* 4,655 men finished, 6,083 females finished
* Out of those 6,083 females, I came in 1,161th
* There were 1,073 females aged 30-34 who finished
* Out of those 1,073 I came in 236th

And there you have it! This wraps up our 2010 Ky Derby Festival Mini Marathon coverage, I hope you enjoyed it. & if you did, stay tuned: next year I'm considering the full marathon...26.2 miles!

The Results Are In...

Well, readers, all the angst and anticipation about the weather and whatnot was all for naught: what a fabulous morning for a long run! It sprinkled a bit, and then rained in earnest for the first 30 minutes or so, but then cleared right up. My unofficial time (I guess they'll send me my "official" time in the mail) for the mini marathon--13.1 miles--was 2 hours and 5 minutes...actually way better than my projected 2 hrs and 15 minutes. What can I say? I felt great and it all went off without so much as a side stitch or a blister--the remnants of my sinus infection didn't bother me and I was able to just get in "the zone" and enjoy myself. It was pretty fantastic running through Churchill Downs: they had some horses out doing exercises and the PA system was pumping out old turn-by-turn broadcasts of races. Can't wait to do it again!

And what sort of playlist got me through my two hours of racing excitement? Well, it's a pretty good one, so I should definitely list it, just for you, reader:

1. The Trio (main title from The Good, The Bad and the Ugly): Ennio Morricone
2. Down on the Street: The Stooges
3. Through the Fire: Larry Green
4. Danger Zone: Kenny Loggins
5. Cannonball: The Breeders
6. Rocky: United Artists Orchestra
7. Star Wars main theme: John Williams
8. The Imperial March: John Williams
9. Raiders of the Lost Ark main theme: John Williams
10. Carmina Burana: Atlanta Symphony Orchestra
11. Principles of Lust: Enigma
12. The Ecstasy of Gold: Ennio Morricone
13. Olympic Fanfare and Theme: John Williams
14. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom main theme: John Williams
15. Superman main theme: John Williams
16. Pee Wee's Big Adventure main theme: Danny Elfman
17. Batman main theme: Danny Elfman
18. Extreme Ways: Moby
19. What Is Love?: Haddaway
20. Enjoy the Silence: Depeche Mode
21. Lonely Highway: the Magnetic Fields
22. Learning to Fly: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
23. Runnin' Down a Dream: Tom Petty
24. I Won't Back Down: Tom Petty
25. Come as You Are: Nirvana
26. Welcome to the Jungle: Guns N' Roses
27. Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love: Van Halen
28. People of the Sun: Rage Against the Machine
29. Vietnow: Rage Against the Machine
30. Evil Operations Classified: The Casual Dots
31. G.F.S.: Slant 6
32. Dr. Seuss: Autoclave
33. Time Expired: Slant 6
34. Ace of Spades: Motorhead
35. (We are the) Road Crew: Motorhead
36. Cherub Rock: Smashing Pumpkins
37. Jane Says: Jane's Addiction
38. The Final Countdown: Europe

Oh boy: that's a lot of musical inspiration about taking things to the limit, trying real hard, time being an issue, adrenaline-laced stiff-lipped badass-ary and orchestral gravitas--perfect for all our distance running endeavors! And strangely enough, the transitions were smoother than you think. Hurrah for me!

KY Derby Festival Minimarathon Tomorrow

Yikes, readers: tomorrow's the big race! in just 16 hours I'll be lining up on 3rd street near Southside Drive in anticipation of my very first half marathon! Feeling some jitters, but having no doubts about being ready. The best thing about this being my first race is that there is no pressure to top myself: no matter what, tomorrow will be a personal best so I can pretty much just relax and enjoy it. I'm thinking about it in terms of just going out for a nice long run--with 14,999 other people(!)

The only thing I am worried about is the weather: 80% chance of thunderstorms! Like, with thunder and lightning. Huh. That really puts a damper on things. So I guess I'll have to put my iPod in a ziplock (running for 2+ hours with no music is NOT an option), and my visual situation looks grim as I can imagine my glasses fogging up and being useless, not to mention wet socks, giant puddles and being generally soaked through. This and I'm still not 100% over a sinus infection that was in full force last week...

But whatever, readers: I've been training for this thing for 8 months, so I'm game for some bad weather. And the fact that I'll be rained upon will simply up the badass factor and bragging rights I'll get, so I guess it will be fine.

And check out my outfit for the occasion:

* New-ish Mizuno Wave Rider running shoes (with neutral cushioning);
* my favorite cushy black socks;
* my crazy 3/4 length CW-X Stabylx running tights;
* plain old Target brand polyester/cotton blend shirt;
* Camelbak utility belt with water bottle holster (don't call it a fannypack!);
* 3 pouches of GU Chocolate Outrage energy gels;
* merino wool/acrylic blend arm warmers;
* eye glass keeper-on-ers;
* Brooks running cap;
* Mini Marathon number bib with microchip embedded to record time (I think it's like an RFID tag), #13547D

Stay tuned for more!

First Attended MLB Game of the Season, 4/22/2010

Cincinnati Reds v Los Angeles Dodgers

final score after 9 innings of play: Reds 8, Dodgers 5

hits: Reds 13, Dodgers 9

A very pleasant evening for attending a live baseball game. I actually think this is the first time I've seen the Reds win in the "new" ballpark (RIP Riverfront Stadium), so I'll admit I was totally shocked--I consider myself to be the Reds' unofficial bad luck charm (as if they needed any more negative mojo).

So do I, as a consummate Reds fan, have much optimism for the 2010 season? Well, no, reader, I do not--we Redlegs fans have become quite the cynical bunch, and it'll take a Johnny Bench-like streak of heroism from our boys to change our mindset that our team has become a rag-tag slush fund of 2nd and 3rd tier talent passed over by the Yankees, et al. A sad state of affairs, for sure--but there is a certain amount of pride taken in the fact that I haven't jumped ship for greener, more successful pastures. And gosh, if this season doesn't pan out (like so many others didn't), well--we'll always have 1976, baby.

EEEEUUUWWW...

Well, I knew it was happening, but it's distressing to see it all for sure, in black and white: the new college basketball arena set to open next season will be officially monikered KFC Yum! Center.

There's been endless droves of talk and nonsense about the big-ass basketball cathedral. Everyone already knew The Colonel had his greasy corpse-ified claw extended from beyond the grave, poised to take possession of the corporate naming rights to the monstrosity that was popularly (and imaginatively) called "The Downtown Arena." Weirdly, there was a rumor going around for the last couple of years that it was going to be called "The Bucket," which I guess is fun and appropriate: early artists' conceptions had the thing actually physically resembling a bucket of chicken(!) I was even kind of warming to that idea once I began imagining some outrageous Claes Oldenburg-designed showpiece on the riverfront, both magnificent and horrible in its overwrought corporate opulence--a cartoon made manifest that would dominate the city skyline like it has dominated the world's commercial fried chicken market. And they would play basketball inside.

Of course, my hometown lacks that kind of edgy vision (read: they know better than to piss off red necks who hate that sort of artsy bullshit). I was driving downtown for the first time in a while and was shocked to see how much they've built--and just how butt ugly the thing really is. And look at that picture: they're really going to put the logos of the Yum! axis of fast food evil ON THE FREAKING ROOF! So people in airplanes can see it! (Actually, one wonders why Yum! hasn't had this epiphany before, paying farmers in flyover country to grow their crops in the pattern of the Long John Silver's logo).

So there we have it: the name of the new boxy monstrosity now obstructing the waterfront will have an exclamation point in the middle of it's soulless, ungainly corporate-inspired name. I guess we should count ourselves lucky that the "Arena Authority Task Force" (or whatever that group of pompous local imagineers is calling themselves lately) limited themselves to whoring the naming rights out to just one conglomerate; I can imagine there being some crazy unwieldy compromise wherein the official name ends up being something like: Pepsi and Papa John's Presents The KFC Yum! Center at McDonaldland's Ameritrade PNC Bank Arena and Denny Crum Welcome Center.

Whatever--I'm still calling it "The Bucket."

Mini Marathon in 5 Days...!

Readers, it's the 5 day count down to the start of my very first half marathon event: the Kentucky Derby Mini Marathon!

It's kind of weird, if just for the fact that I really never participate in derby-related goings-on (well, besides the usual backyard BBQ and mint julep extravaganza--but that doesn't really count as "officially sanctioned derby events"...). The thing to remember about living in Louisville, Ky is that the derby is a city-wide excuse to start drinking at 11am (or earlier, in many cases...& we do mean "many cases"...har har), even the local schools let the kids out for a long weekend (my workplace will be closed, as will many many others). The actual race is really besides the point--although they do start running more stories about horses in the sports section around this time of year--people generally just want a reason to buy a funny hat and get shit-faced for a couple weeks (the festivities start with Thunder over L'Ville--which was yesterday--and culminate with the race on the first Saturday in May). And I guess I can't really argue with that.

Anyway--I started running again (after a, um, 13 year hiatus) this past September (did it have something to do with my 30th birthday, I wonder? hmmm...) and decided to run the race back in November. I've averaged 20 or so miles a week after finally getting back into shape, and I've done lots of long runs close to the 13.1 miles I'll have to cover this Saturday, so it should be no problem. I'm feelin' strong, readers! I even watched part of G.I. Jane on tv this afternoon (say what u want about Mrs. Kutcher, but those one-armed push ups were pretty badass). I've also read a lot of books and pestered a lot of other, more seasoned runners & I think I can pretty much do this thing...

But holee molee: the race sold out a few weeks ago, and that means I'll be running along with around 15,000 other people! That giant crush of humanity is going to be titanic! In fact, it's being touted as a record: the biggest single road race in Kentucky history (in past years they capped off registration at 12,000). Oh, boy! This will be a jittery week, for sure.